Just Because He's Awesome

I’ve been full of angst and sadness and anger and feelings of bitterness and inferiority lately. But with summer (finally, Thank God) coming to a close, I am going to turn over a new leaf, as they say, in my attitude. No more dwelling. No more taking everything to heart. No more giving of a fuck what certain people say/do/don’t do.

I am Superman’s Mommy! Hear me roar!

Ahem. Yes. So anyway. I am so grateful for the awesome little human that is my boy. I’ve never been able to type out a birthday tribute to him. I always end up dissolving in tears about two sentences into all of the wonderful ways that he is Superman. Therefore, I am going to throw out a few of the things that make him so funny to me. Some of the Supermanisms that give him the quirk that I love so much, but that also worries me endlessly.

Superman thinks the part of the song ‘Abracadabra’ that says black betty with an angel’s face actually says Blackberries with a Ninja’s Face.

He loves muscle cars, and thinks they are all called Mustangs. He is also dying to have a motorcycle, but won’t ride his bike or on the four wheeler with Best Fella.

I asked him what was wrong because it looked like he was in pain. He said, “Nothing. My butt just itches ‘cause I farted too loud.” Charming!

He likes to turn the volume on my phone all the way up and have the noise of his game and a song playing at the same time, but fireworks make him cry because he says they hurt his ears.

If he had his way, the boy would eat corn dogs three meals a day, seven days a week.

From the bathroom: “Mommy! I just threw up!” I walk in and he’s still sitting down, not pale or clammy or any of the signs that usually say ‘throw up’…..Skeptically, I say, “What?” (because I’m eloquent like that). “I did. I threw up from my butt.” Oh.

His favorite songs, in no particular order: Eye of the Tiger, Country by Jason Aldean, Bad to the Bone, Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars, and The Joker by the Steve Miller Band.

A limousine and a movie room are the ultimate measures of wealth to him.

Superman can watch the same movie(s) or TV shows nine thousand times in a row and never get tired of them.

He is pretty sure that when he grows up he will be an actor, a boxer, or a ninja.

When we’re in the middle of acting silly and laughing at each other he will either say, “Mom, I love you.” Or “I just want a big hug!”

He can’t stop himself from looking over our shoulders or asking what we’re doing the second we pull out our phones or ipads. When I say, “You know what?” He’ll answer with, “None of my beeswax.”

When I pick him up after work I always ask him how his day was. Ninety percent of the time, he answers with a singsong, enthusiastic “AWE-some!”

This boy of mine. Magoo, McGillicutty, Sneezy McGee, Superman, Rocky Balboa, Geebs. The coolest kid in my world. My most favoritest ninja ever.